Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Loving one another....

This was going to be - the Church III, but I was interrupted this morning while waiting to go to church, my church.   In my years with Derlene, since she really was not comfortable with church folks, we had two rituals on Sunday morning.  The first part was CBS's Sunday Morning program which I have been watching for years and the other was Joel Osteen's TV program.  I will continue to watch CBS as it's focus is always on people and I happen to believe that is why the church has existed over the years, to serve people, God's creation.

Anyway, this morning, I found myself intrigued by another of their segments, focusing on children with Autism.  This morning, the subject was the second son of a couple who seemed to be very happy with their marriage and especially, their first son.  The next one was what many would call - different, he turned out to be Autistic in his second year,  True to form, the couple could not understand this and in spite of all of the counsel they received, the best "remedy" seemed to be his fascination with tapes of Disney movies and he would set for hours watching them, thoroughly pleased with his life.  Then, as he was in his fourth year he came to his mother, specifically and accurately quoting a character in one of the many movies he had been watching   His mother was, at first, astounded but they took him to the specialists who were aware of his life and things began to change.  I had hoped to get a re-run to share with you the details I have forgotten about it, but as the years passed along he has progressed into what we want to call normal life and the segment closed with a clip of him tutoring others with the same affliction.

I had wanted to have this available as there are professionals dealing with this discovery, but it reminded me of my own experiences with autistic children.

Many years ago, I was helping people in our church in another city with the problems they presented to us and a couple introduced me to Autism.  It seemed as though they had traveled several miles hoping to find someone who would pray and lay hands on them and remove this tragedy from their lives.  I agreed to do this, but first I asked where they lived and when they told me, it seemed as if I was being  "instructed" to go there and meet the boy, I will call him Tommy.  To make a longer experience shorter, I agreed to go and wound up in their living room three weeks later.  Tommy seemed to recognize me as he took me by the hand and led me to the room where he normally played.  He wanted me to set on the floor with him and for two hours, he kept "instructing" me by putting a toy in my hand and then showing me what to do.  Then, all of a sudden, he stopped, put the toys away and took me back to his parents in their living room.  We had never said a word to one another and I had no words or explanation for what had happened.  I just knew I was supposed to be there.

I would come back three times and we would repeat the same ritual, except the last time I was there, he greeted me with a hug and a "Hi, Mac".  His parents said that was the first time he had ever spoken to an outsider.  I was moving out of the area, so we would not see each other but, his parents sent me letters where he had written those words and "Let's play".  Later on, they told me he was now in a full-time school and was progressing quite well.  I never fully understood that experience until now.

A few years ago I moved to this area and there was an Autistic child among my in-laws. The first time I met her, I was instantly in love with her.  Her young spirit filled whatever room she was in and after awhile, we learned to dance together.  There seemed to be a problem, however, as others pointed to the fact that her mother and the biological father were not married and it seemed apparent, this delightful little girl became a problem to everyone who was involved in the family dynamics.  It doesn't seem to bother her as she, like so many of the others, appear to live in their own little world.

Although we are now separated, I continue to pray for her and there have been moments when it was as if I was being asked to pray specifically for certain needs that she had.  How does one comprehend such requests when it appears, there is no way to understand the requests.

Then, this morning, as I watched the CBS program, I began to understand.  This autistic boy was very much like Tommy, my young friend from years past.  He found the "interpreter" he needed in the Disney films.  Tommy had used me to become an interpreter between himself and his family.  Autistic children need interpreters and they will find them wherever the medium is unconditional love.  They do not live on our plain, but if we learn to love them - unconditionally, they will invite us into their realm.

Why?  How does this happen?  We need to ask our own selves, why are we so content to live in an environment where we find it to be so easy to find reasons not to love one another?

Finally, I understand my own "problems" over the years.  I thought I had to learn to earn the love and respect of my own family, and when I tried and I was rejected on my terms, I isolated myself.  I was not autistic, but I might as well have been.  I used to laugh at myself, accusing myself of the fantasy "farms" I created.  Remember that old adage, "If you think you can, you can."  It took me nearly 45 years to abandon that lure.

Now, like the boy in that TV segment, I have overcome my phobias.  I have learned how to love, unconditionally and the miracle is, I know that I know, I am being loved in return. 

Monday, April 14, 2014

Is It the times in which we live?

Over the weekend, I had an encounter with a fellow - I wished I could say he is a gentleman, but I that is difficult.  He started me to think more seriously about the conversation and for that reason, I really need to thank him.  Unfortunately, he said what he said and hung up and I cannot do that either.

But I have learned to count my blessings on each and every day I am privileged to be here and I had hardly opened my computer today when I discovered these words of wisdom from my dear friend, Terry Hershey.  He had this to say -

"I am invested here.  I don't even know where this will take me.  Regardless, I am invested here." 

I keep such sayings and in this case, it comes close to being my creed - every since May 12, 1975

My real investment in life comes from  the fact that I recognize, I was born with two ears and two eyes, but only one mouth.

In this fellow's case, I used my two ears to hear and was fortunate that I could not use my mouth.

All of this started with an article a friend of mine contributed to our local newspaper.   He has a weekly column on the Religion page of our local newspaper and he dares to say what he sincerely believes.  I know that because he is not only my friend, he is also my Pastor.  I said as much in a letter to the editor explaining why I had been offended by a response to my friend's thoughts and encouraged others to think before they write.

I have learned that in my decades long experiences of writing letters to the editors of newspapers in the areas in which I have lived.  In the beginning, I was very much like the person who now offends me; he was quick to accuse and did not offer a legitimate reason for their opinion.  I learned the hard way when some of my earlier letters were castigated - severely criticized, by people I was forced to recognize, who knew so much more about my subject that I had even considered.  "Live and learn" - words of advice I had heard about in the 6th grade while attending school in a one room building in a farm community, but had failed to grasp their value in teaching me how to live, more effectively.

So over the weekend, my "friend" called with the following verbatim thought.  "I trust you are the guy who writes letters to the editors.  You want to defend your friend's words?  They are bull..."  I expect you understand his thought.  And of course, he hung up.

I didn't have any problem hanging up my receiver, but his thoughts linger on.

There is no need to explain his reasoning.  My friend writes about religious beliefs and for some reason that escapes my understanding of religion, he does not always conform to the teachings of many of the other Pastor/teachers in this area.   Some people want to tell me that these others are clinging to thoughts in the Bible that have become outdated by modern day science.  I don't know about that.

What I do know, however, is that in my travels I have met people of many different religious beliefs and I have one thing in common with every one of them.  We are all called to love or respect one another's religious beliefs.  A wise man once taught me, the Bible was not written for the benefit of others, it was written for my benefit!   It took me some 45 years to understand that and worse, I had no real knowledge of the Bible in spite of the fact I had been a regular church attender for most of those years.   I would learn that the "key" to understanding the Bible centered on my need to repent for the life I had been living and give the teachings I would discover in the Bible, an opportunity to guide my "new" life.  To my amazement, it has been a most amazing discovery.

I do not search the pages of the Bible looking for ways that others can live their lives.  My only call is to love them, just as I have loved others sentenced to death by the State and seen their sentences over turned.  I have loved men who were our enemies on the battlefield  and watched as they became my fellow citizens in this, the greatest nation ever ordained by God.  All because of love.

And that is our call, regardless of the denomination to which we belong.  It matters not how others want to believe.  Our sole responsibility is to love them. each and every one of them.  When we do, we will soon discover, they do listen.

I even love the man who called, "casting stones" at my friend and I pray that I will - somehow, learn his identity so that I might help him to learn that in my experience, the word that he used could be so much better utilized as a fertilizer that brings forth life to products that may even nourish us.

The reason I have used these words to describe this situation is because I know from experience living in this community for most of the past decade, it is because of the fact I do have two eyes and two ears. We seem to have so many living in this area who suffer from what I would prefer to call - r.a.   It took me awhile to understand those initials medically, stand for - rheumatoid arthritis.  That's one way, but it seems to me that there they could as easily stand for - religious antagonism.