A Flawed Legacy - 35

It was here (Orlando) that I discovered the Good Samaritan Coffee House and the "crew" that kept it moving, day in and day out.  I met Craig Marlatt, the "little dynamo" who had founded it and kept it moving ahead on the strength of his personality and the help of some good friends.  Everywhere I went, people seem to know all about Craig and his background which included time in prison.  (As I write, I discovered him again, still living in Florida, still very much the family man - and a very large family now.  We exchanged e-mails and I was pleased to tell him of the impact his Mother made on my life.  I believe she was a widow and drove school buses for a living, counting her passengers as being a huge part of her life.  She was an inspiration to all who ever crossed her path.

It was always intriguing to me, the impact of the Rescue Mission nearby.  I used to stand in their lines just to meet transients such as I was, just to talk about our mutual experiences.  Of course, my main interest was to invite them to the Coffee House to discover how "life in Christ" was far better than merely, "life" on the streets.  Along the way, I met a young girl who would have a large impact on my life.  It was very hot day and here was this young girl wearing a  beautiful, but very heavy overcoat. She needed to get away from that crowd and one day she appeared at the Coffee House, and was befriended by a slightly older gal and they became best of friends.  One day, she asked me if I had a drivers license, that she needed someone to drive her car and take the two of them to the airport.  Her name was Maryann and I never dreamed that she would, later on, become my wife.  We got lost coming back from the air-port and in the process, became good friends.  On Valentine's Day (1982), church friends invited Maryann and I to their "Sweetheart's Ball" and I wound up singing, "Let My Call You Sweetheart" and embarrassed her, she said, but it wasn't much later, while I was driving her to a revival meeting at the First Baptist Church she blurted out, "I'm in love with you, really!!"  I was not prepared for that.

I had decided to go out the Frank Constantino's "camp" for newly released State prisoners where the idea seemed to be that we could help these guys get acclimated to their freedom.  It was a great idea - I recently read that it still is, but to me with a college degree and solid work experience behind me, I found it to be a chaotic mess.  Frank had great ideas and it seemed to me, so did everyone else, so much so that I became disallusioned, or perhaps it was mt new found love for Maryann and my hopes for a better future.  We decided to get married.

She had been boarding with an older woman who happened to know of lady who had been "wintering" in Florida but was leaving for the summer, offering her house, rent-free, and suggested it would be a good place for us to start our marriage.  It was, but it really wasn't a good time for us.  What I was about to discover that she was still "hooked on" psychiatric medicine and was really angry with her psychiatrist.  I will never know - for certain, but my answer to her dilemma was to just stop the pills. Shortly afterwards, she panicked and wanted to start taking them again.  I convinced her that all she needed was proof everything was going to be OK and took her to the local hospital, to an ER doctor who told her that there was nothing wrong with her vital signs, she was not going to die and she calmed down and I thought, she had won a battle that had been raging for years.

Well, I thought it was, but most of us know, there are "ups and downs" in marriages, especially when both parties had experienced unsuccessful marriages in their past.  We had our share.  I was moving on in years and one of my problems was the fact, I had no real idea of what our future would hold, based on my more recent work experiences.  By now, I had been away from "career" interests for over five years and it troubled me that I could not find anyone who could become interested in the "possibilities" I had to offer.  Inwardly, I was becoming more and more frustrated.  That was a burden on our marriage and it didn't help that Maryann still seemed to have memories of the problems that followed her previous life. She and her husband had two beautiful sons that she adored and her husband seemed to have eyes on other women.  That marriage ended in a divorce and reasons to believe she had mental problems.  That stigma had followed her to Florida where her father had moved - after leaving her Mother to marry another woman and that was a another "problem" to add to her concerns.  I didn't really help.

The fact that I had merely stepped out of my former marriage and left some bewildered children did not help either, only that was not the problem with Maryann and I.  I thought it was the fact I had not found a place for my skills and abilities and finally, when she would not agree to leave Orlando, I did.  I went to Atlanta and as if there were forces in my life beyond my control, I found a job with plenty of potential and an employer who loved to teach me everything I would ever need to know if I stayed and took over the business when he retired.  I was, in fact, more excited than I had been for years.  I came back to Orlando for Christmas, shared my experience with Maryann, hoping, in fact, believing, she would go with me to the apartment I had discovered that I thought she would love, but she had no intentions of leaving an area where she was comfortable, to start over.

I began to realize, I was the ultimate optimist and she was just the opposite.  But I loved her and stayed but everything seemed to get away from me.  We loved the church, used to delight in signing the songs we loved as we drove to and from church.  I was happier then than anytime in my life.  When one Pastor left town, we found another church and when it moved beyond the "family" we had come to love, we found another.  And we had good friends.  Earlier in our marriage, we had met this gal who had been to Dallas, TX, and met this guy, Bob George, who really understood the Bible and convinced we should attend one of his seminars.  So we did and in route we met the guy who would marry the gal who had encouraged us to go.  The four of us became the very best of friends and although Maryann has passed away, the three of us are together, in spirit at least.  They still live in Orlando, I have moved on. 

Our marriage did not survive.  I finally moved away, this time to Tennessee where the miracle f all miracles would happen to me, but we remained good friends, thanks to the Postal services.  Along the way, she met another fellow, another nice guy I had to agree and so, we divorced.  It did not mean that I stopped loving her.  I just set her free and was so glad that I did as she developed cancer and would eventually pass away.   I wound up with a huge hole in my heart. 

A Flawed Legacy - 23

Other than the unanswered questions as to what Janice doing - out of prison, and the concerns for our children, my life in Tulsa was becoming rather comfortable.  I had established a number of real friendships with members of our church and people I had met, coming and going, to and from work.

The, I received a strange phone call from San Diego, a woman who referred to herself as "Mrs. Mac" and she claimed to know a lot about Janice and the children.  I always suspected that she might be the "other" woman in a relationship that Janice may have established, but she seemed to know each of our children and told me they were doing well - in school.  I was grateful to hear that.  Unfortunately, after she finally asked me for money and I refused to pay her without specific evidence that she knew for a fact, everything she had been telling me, the communications ended.

I made a mistake after that.  Noting an ad for an employment counselor in the newspaper, I responded and was immediately hired, only to discover that this particular agency was not really being honest with applicants; so, I started looking at others.  Answering a "blind" ad, I soon discovered it was placed by my employer, so I was gone.  It did not take me long to find another and we seemed to be doing quite well until the owner suffered a heart attack and his wife closed the agency.  

In the midst of these changes, I had a phone call from Janice asking me to take the boys for the summer. It so happened that I did have a friend with a nice home and two younger boys of her own.  She graciously accepted them and Janice flew them out to Tulsa.  And that was the beginning of more than just confusion, it seemed to be a conspiracy.  Other friends had asked me to "house sit" their home while on vacation and suddenly, I had to arrange for the boys to stay with me.  There had to have been conversations that I knew nothing about, but I was doing the best I could considering that fact.  I had a new offer from an excellent agency which I accepted, but begged off for a couple of days so that I could take the boys to see Dallas, TX, where I met with some people I had known in CA with the idea that they might have plans for me in the future.  It would make more sense as the fees in that area were substantially more than I was earning in Tulsa.

When we got back, the home owners had returned so we had to get another apartment and this time, I found one near to schools as it was my unannounced intention to keep the boys with me.  My new job was paying me much more money, so I felt quite comfortable with the new arrangements.  I had purchased a new car - for me, but it needed some repairs and I would pick it up the next week.  In the meantime, I bought the boys some new school clothes and we caught a ride to church on Sunday,

We all went to Sunday School and as I went to get the boys, I was told that their "Mother" had picked them up and obviously, had left the church area.  I borrowed a car and raced out to our apartment where I discovered, the kitchen window had been broken and the boys' things were gone.  I immediately called my daughter and was met by a tirade on how bad I was and that their Mother had only done what was right to do.  I thought for a minute of heading them off before they got to California, but on the advice of friends, I decided to let them go.

That was the last time I ever saw them, my (now) ex-wife, my sons and my oldest daughter.  Thanks be to God, I have since been re-united with my youngest daughter, but even that relationship has had its problems over the years - more to come on that.

February 19, 2014

The last post left you at a bus station in Tulsa, OK, hanging up from a phone call where I learned that the man I had come to see, hoping that he could help me get past the experiences of my life in California, was not available and would not be available for at least two more weeks.

What was I to do?  I knew no one in Tulsa to help and I was nearly broke.  It was then I remembered that we had passed a "labor pool" as the bus was headed for the station.  I decided I would try working on the "wrong" side of the desk.  I knew it was late, most of the available jobs were filled.  I would have to wait and so I took a seat after filling out their brief application card,  It was 9:30 AM, I would wait until almost 2PM before the dispatcher asked me if I could count.  It turned out that he needed someone to help with an inventory at a nearby company.  Thank you, Lord.

The job was rather simple but there were hundreds of items to be counted.  I went to work.  At 5PM the "boss" asked if I would like to work overtime.  Sure!   And so I worked until 8PM and was told they wanted me back tomorrow.  The boss asked me where I lived and I had to confess I would be looking for a place.  He told me of a downtown motel that was cheap; he seemed to understand my dilemma and handed by a $20 bill to pay for my rent.

That was Monday and as it turned out, I worked all week - 40 hours, and when I got paid by the labor office, I tried to repay the $20 the boss had loaned me and he smiled and said, "Forget it, that was the best investment we have ever made" and then he handled me a company check for $50, claiming that I had earned it.

I walked up the street feeling good about myself and as I passed a cocktail lounge, I thought I would stop and have a beer.  "After all," I thought to myself, "a laborer is entitled to relax after working all week."  Funny, as I tried to open the door, it appeared to be locked.  I tried again, and tried again.  I had heard voices within and was puzzled but just as I started to walk away, two couples walked up and opened the door I thought had been locked.  I started for follow then and then I remembered my question about my need to repent.  Maybe, the door just seemed to be locked to me for a reason.

I walked on to the YMCA and paid a week's rent and when I got to my room, I opened my Bible again to see if  I could find an explanation, but there was none.  The next morning, Saturday, after eating my breakfast at a nearby diner, I decided to ride a bus out to the ORU campus.  It was as beautiful as I had thought it would be.  Just sitting on a park bench, I felt better thanI had felt for months.  I noticed there was a book store nearby and decided to see if Oral might have written something related to my recent experience or, the experiences in my past.  I did not find one, but glancing at a jewelry display I saw an item I liked and picked it up and noticed the card to which it had been attached.  It was a Bible verse, Acts 1:8, ..."you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you and you shall be My witnesses.."   I had already picked out a church I would attend the next day, so I bought the item and put the card in my pocket as a reminder to ask someone what that verse might possibly mean to me.

Would you believe, the text the Pastor had chosen for his sermon was the one I had noticed the day before.  I sat in my pew hanging on his every word.  I knew that I knew I had found a church home as it would be for the next two years.  But I was about to have my world turned upside down.

I had left instructions with the CA State people in the office that monitored the homes in which we had placed the children temporarily, that I would let them know when I would be returning.  I was about to be shocked beyond my comprehension.  My wife had been released from prison and regained custody of our children.  I hired a lawyer to investigate the reasons for that decision by the State and he had to tell me there was nothing we could do from Oklahoma.  I decided to wait until after I had accomplished the purpose of my journey.

As it turned, that would never happen.  I began to speak with elders in my new church home and it was their counsel that I stay in Tulsa, work if I could find a job, and wait to see what happened with our children.  It would be a long wait.

Meanwhile, it seemed, I had new power as every place I turned to for employment, I was hired and it went from good to opportunities beyond anything I had experienced in California.  Eventually, I would find an even better opportunity in Dallas, TX, and so I moved there.  Unfortunately, it would not turn out to be as good as it had sounded, but while there, I met a number of good friends, some of whom had other opportunities and so it went on and on.  Finally, I made a deal that paid me a lot of money and I had a plan.  I would sell my equity in a business I had helped to establish and send the receipts to the State of California to maintain my obligations for child support until there was no further responsibility.

By this time, I considered myself to be an authority on what the Bible had to say and I had been looking for the possibility of joining an established training company or similar organization.  I prayed and asked God, what He would have me to do.  A word of advice to those reading these words, don't ever ask God for such counsel unless you are prepared to do what He asks you to do or go where He asks you to go.

Clearly I heard Him say, :"Go, be with my people."

The only interpretation I could make was to consider my thoughts in years past.  As a Manager of a "labor" office in Los Angeles, I used to wonder why grown men, many well educated, would get in such a situation in life where they had to work for minimum wage, paid daily.  It has always troubled me that in a nation as prosperous as we have become could ignore the circumstances of such people and worse, those without sufficient educational preparation to find a better job for themselves.  I knew what I had to do, I knew where He wanted me to go.

With that I literally walked out of Dallas on a blazing hot July afternoon, wearing nothing more than a shirt, jeans and a pair of "penny" loafers, no hat, carrying nothing but my Bible.  I was heading North to be with His people.

I really had given no thought to money, what I might need, what a reasonable person would have taken with him or her.  I just had a confidence that God would provide and He did, for over two and half years and it would have continued, but then there was this lady who dared to declare, long before she knew anything about me, that she loved me and wanted to marry me.  But that is another story for yet another day.