A Flawed Legacy - 10

I was devastated by my loss and I guess it showed.  My boss told me to take ten days off and gave me an address of a home I could visit and be refreshed.  My secretary started to cry every time I came into her office.  She and her husband had been our guests at a restaurant when we gave them what was then, the truly good news.  I decided to take my boss's offer.

It so happened that in the house next door was another friend from Japan and he was now stationed in the Pentagon,  To make a longer story short, I only stopped at Eglin to pick up my clothes and personal items and was on my way to Washington, to the Pentagon.  Wow!  I was instantly amazed and wondered what I might be doing next.  It so happened that when the war broke out in Korea, they had   called up the Reserves in a hurry and made some serious mistakes.  People were hurt by the move and it would be my job to investigate, looking for the facts in many of the claims.

I would be given a file on each person stating everything the the government, the Air Force, knew about the individual and a copy of their personnel records, so that I knew a lot about them.  I was sent on temporary duty to the ROTC unit in the closest college to where they currently lived, so that I could "just happen to run into them" and talk about their experiences  in the call up.  Some guys had made a bad mistake, saying things they should not have said and then there were the others who were seriously hurt.  Like the reserve Sergeant from St. Louis whose orders to report were so urgent that he would lose the business he had started after WW II, his wife left him and married another man and he had effectively lost contact with his children.  Fortunately, based on my testimony and the facts of the matter, his case was reviewed and he received a substantial award to cover some of his losses.  He had confided in me that before we had met, he was seriously considering suicide.

His case and others not quite as drastic motivated me to go a good job, but the more cases I reviewed, the more I was sickened by the attempts of some to - as one guy told me, "...pick up a little extra money" merely by claiming he was cheated by the government.  "No one cares," was his excuse.

The travel and some of the stories I had heard began to wear on me and when I discovered that a Colonel I had served under in Japan was now stationed at Scott AFB, IL, I applied for a transfer and got it - and another award for my service.  Scott field is one of our oldest bases, but it was better than the beach in Florida.  Besides, they had two major league baseball teams.  While I was in Japan I had played a lot of baseball and had managed a women's softball team, made up of the wives of many of our fighter pilots.  As a youngster, I had lived and breathed through the play of "my" Detroit Tigers.  As a member of the Armed Forces, we had free admission to the games in St. Louis and as veterans, we also got a lot of "free" beer from appreciative fans.  We had to wear our uniform so we were paid a lot of attention from others in the stadium.

My job on base, however, was something else.  I did not work for my friend, the Colonel, but had a number of jobs that really did little to challenge me.  I was - in a word, bored.  I tried travelling around on the weekends, to Chicago and parts of Illinois, but my favorite was exploring the "other side" of the State of Kentucky.  Fascinating world, so unlike other places I had ever been.

Then I received "good" news.  When I had re-enlisted in 1949, I signed onto an "indefinite" enlistment requiring me to serve for three more years, but after that I was free to resign at my request, and so now, it was late August and I could resign to enter college.  That became my plan, resign, go to college, get a Reserve commission as an officer and return to the military when I graduated.

So I called my Mother in Atlanta and an "on again/off again" girl friend in Denver, telling each one, the first one to help me get in college was where I planned to live for the  next four years.  Mother won, easily.  Within a week, I had a call from the Dean of Students at Georgia Tech, hoping to welcome me when classes opened in September,  It was a slam dunk.  I was headed for Georgia.

February 28, 2014

Technically, if you ask the insurance company actuaries, today is my 85th birthday.  Don't you worry if you missed sending me a birthday card.  My actual birthday is not until the 28th of August, but since the February date represents six months past the actual date of an insured's birth, they declare you to be the age you will become on your next anniversary.  Don't worry, it's just their way of increasing your "investment".  And don't worry if you think it is unfair; it is just the way it is.  Life moves on....

Well, you could say that I received a birthday present, early, yesterday.  I watched our President on TV announcing another new program, but don't fret, it won't cost you a dime.  As a matter of fact, in my opinion, it could - possibly, save you some money, in the form of tax dollars you might not be spending.

This new program, entitled "My Brother's Keeper" is based on the President's realization that he suffered through many of the same obstacles facing far too many of our young "black" brothers.  In my words, they face an identity crisis and it has become a fact of life in too many homes in America.

Yes, I know, I faced similar struggles when I was young, but I was not black, but white, and tho people who could help me were generous in their contributions.  There was seldom any reluctance on their part.   Then, I learned about such problems while I was in the Air Force and because of my job as a Personnel technician on our base in Japan, I was instructed to help with the integration of blacks into the routines of what had been, an all white organization.

At first, I was rather apprehensive; in fact, a Master Sergeant who out ranked me in our offices assured me that integration would never work.  Well, it did work, thanks to the quality of black airmen assigned to our base.  They were - as a matter of fact, some of the finest men I have ever worked with.  Three of them would become my life long friends.   Remember now, I was a white boy raised in an all-white farm community in Michigan.  I had never seen a black person up close until those men came into my life.

Then, I chose to attend college at Georgia Tech in Atlanta, GA in 1953.  It was not long before the Supreme Court ruled on the Brown vs. Board of Education case, granting blacks the right to attend schools that had previously rejected blacks.  Working, part time, in a local department store, I was shocked to hear the responses of my all white co-workers on the day that decision was announced.
Had I not been recently married and was intent of earning a college degree, I would have been ready to join my brothers and sisters in the struggle to gain their dignity in the Southern states.  As it was, I made a decision that I would never cease to promote racial equality, wherever, whenever, and I am proud to say I have never reneged on that vow.

The fact that we have a black couple as leaders in a nation that came together agreeing to the premise that all peoples are created equal in the site of God, it should be obvious that we should all agree that this thought be uppermost in our thoughts and intentions.  Unfortunately, it is not.

Therefore, our President has acted on our behalf.  He has not asked us to join with him, financially, as he asked many of our nation's leading organizations and employers to do, but if we are agreed that - in spite of our often publicized differences, we need to right the wrongs experienced by too many blacks, then this is our opportunity to help.  That is my prayer that we will do so without even a murmur of discontent.  We have had more than enough of political wrangling in recent years.

As I learned so many years ago, thanks to a high school Commercial teacher who assumed he could teach me to type by having us repeat the following, over and over and over again - "Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of our country," I think these words say what needs to be said.

February 4, 2014

Well now, by now you have discovered that I have learned far too little to be attempting to create an interesting blog, but I have an excellent mentor who is indeed, patient and kind, and most of all, one who encourages me to continue.  So I will, the thought being, I have lived a long time, experienced many things that many will never experience and I come face to face with a world that is rapidly changing and I object, not because it is merely my opinion, but there are some facts that need close examination.

What I have attempted to do so far is lay out the experiences of my early years where most of my instincts had been honed by the grandparents who provided hearth and home to a little boy who was denied the experiences of a Father and far too often, the absence of a Mother who only seemed to care for her only son.  Looking back on those early years, I still have to wonder how I had arrived at the conclusions that seemed to indicate, I needed to get away from the frustrations of trying to impress others that I was a good boy.

But now, having traveled half way around this globe on which we all live, grown up in the "man's" world that was the Air Force in those days, and realizing I was poorly prepared to create a future, I walk through the halls of one of nation's most prominent educational institutions, Georgia Tech, and discover my inadequacies.  I had not realized I would be competing for grade marks withe some of the brightest high school graduates in the nation, but I tried.  My first failure was in Algebra, but an older Professor recognized my problem and had me withdraw and re-enter, remedial Algebra.  That really helped and I would pass with a "B" grade.  Then came Physics and here I was an absolute failure.  My classmates could real off answers to the question while I was still trying to interpret the questions.  With that I went to an Adviser who suggested I might consider withdrawing and attending another college where my experiences would be more appropriate.

I consulted with my VA counselor and he suggested the University of Georgia but a visit reminded me that while it might offer a more appropriate study schedule, the campus seemed to be inundated with "kids" enjoying their first "home" away from home.  On my way back to Atlanta, I met a man who told me about a man he knew, who had been on staff at Georgia Tech but was now opening a new college in downtown Atlanta, to be known as the Atlanta Division of the University of Georgia.  That could be the solution to my concerns and so I was enrolled for the Fall semester.  It was more than a good place to meet my needs, it was convenient and I would discover, the faculty rolls revealed many excellent educators.  I was - at home and my grades reflected my intent to excel.

One thing, I was older than a majority of the students and I was barely settled in before I was elected as the leader of a number of student groups, which eventually led to my election of the Day School student body.   There was also a Night School student body and since we were good friends, I felt that I was not only getting an education, this "Yankee" boy was being accepted by most of my fellow students.

I also made a very serious mistake.   Living with my Mother in a one bedroom apartment was not the the most accommodating place for study and absolutely no place to entertain others.   It wasn't long before I met a nice gal who was attending the same church, and nature took its course.   We decided to get married even though she claimed to be five years older.  It wasn't until we were filling out the license application that I noticed, she was not just five years older, but ten.  Looking back, I should have walked away, but I did not.  The farce that would become  the foundation of our marriage would continue for almost five years and I just, left town and never returned.

Now, I had to look back.  I was a proud and perhaps a bit vain when I left the Air Force.  I looked on college a just another opportunity to succeed as I had in the Air Force and I did not even come close.
Now, I would be divorced and in those days, most employers looked at this as a sign of potential failure and to be honest, I had not done well in either of the two jobs I had after graduating.

It was time for an honest personal evaluation.   Looking back today, I wonder why I just continued on as if nothing on importance had happened, other than my success in the military.  Why I did not consider re-enlisting has always confused me.  I could have retired in my early 40's and with a college degree, there were all sorts of opportunities I might have taken advantage of.  But I did not.

Which brings me to the reason for creating this blog.   I am like tens of thousands of others who "ran" into the future without any realistic goals and wind up as middle aged wondering why life has passed them by.  I suspect I have interviewed hundreds of men - and women, like that and never realized I was - more often than not, looking into a mirror of my own life.

Hope to see you, tomorrow...