By now, you have a group of 4x6 cards (or your own system) with the names of those closest to you as children, posted as well with your own personal evaluation of their qualities. Now, take a second look at each one. Make certain you have entered legitimate responses. They must be completely honest as far as you are concerned. Take whatever time it takes to make certain you have an accurate assessment. These are the key factors in your search, because they represent YOU as YOU start YOUR search. Anything less and you can be certain, you are starting along the wrong path.
Let's go back to your circles. Now, consider the children you met in your first eight years of your educational process, and post the names of those you met in school and in the school activities you participated in outside of your attendance in class. In your next circle, list the names of the teachers you remember and on the cards you will prepare for each of them, list the qualities that you can recall from the experiences that led you to remember their names. Next circle will contain the names of the other adults remembered from these years and on your card, the qualities that you can recall. Now, recall the children from your first eight years as you played in your neighborhoods or met in church and other outside activities. Of course, create a card for each one and list the qualities you can recall.
Moving on, reserve a circle for each of your high school years, add the names of the students you met and others you can recall, as well as the teachers and instructors and list their qualities in the system you have created - either on 4x6 cards or the record you have fashioned for yourself.
The next circle is for the names of the people you recall from those years who you met outside of school and its related activities. Possibilities could include the person who delivered your mail, the store clerks you met along the way, the police, firemen or other public figures. List their names (if you can recall them) and again, the qualities you remember.
Now, we move on to your college years and again one circle for each of those years and a card to note the qualities in each of the individuals you recall, including teachers. assistants and others you have met along the way. If you have not attended college, then use the next circles to list the people you met and remember from jobs you may have worked at and of course, the qualities you noticed in each.
Throughout this practice, I have to assume you have only listed positive qualities. If you did not recall any, but recall their names, list the positive reasons that caused you to remember them.
Maybe you need an explanation for this process. We all start with the genetic factors inherited from our parents. Then, in our own fashion, we modify each. The way you walk and talk, the way you listen, the anger you create when you do not get your way, your attitude when you start your day, etc., etc. In my own life, I was raised on a farm and when I was able, I was expected to get up and help milk the cows. That meant I had started each day by 5:30AM and eighty-five years later, I am still awakened at that hour. It does't mean I have to get up, and since there are no cows to milk, I just roll over and go back to sleep. The fact is, for many, the habits they experienced as youngsters often go to the grave with the one who created them.
That was certainly true with my ow life. I was sent to the farm to live with my grandparents as my own parents had a new baby, my sister, and it was the "Great Depression" years and, apparently, they could not afford another mouth to feed. I would live with my grandparents until I was old enough to quit school and join the USAF. Along the way, my father died and I was not told about it, nor the illness that caused his death. My mother was a beautiful lady and had lots of boyfriends, but I had no father and I was angry. It took me years to get over it. All the while, I had a grandfather who was - in fact, a GREAT grandfather and a loving grandmother. I was blessed and had no idea of just how blessed I was.
My experience has taught me that life is a process, everything beyond those factors we inherited at birth, is a process and we are in control. We do not have to act out as adults just because that was what we practiced as a child. The gray matter between our ears is always on the alert, able to facilitate the changes we earnestly seek. Now, many will claim that physical infirmities place limits on what we can or cannot do, but modern science has almost eliminated this thought. For proof, consider how we have treated our wounded veterans injured on our battlefields.
Today, I have a best friend, born some seventy years ago, his body affected by cerebral palsy, and he married a lady with the same infirmities and lives with his brother-in-law with the same limitations. In spite of all of this, he is the most truly positive thinker I have ever known and I have known many you would know if I mentioned their names. His secret? Very simple. He lives each and every day with a honest concern for his limitations and an awareness of all that life has to offer. I have known many able bodied others and none that I know of, live in the reality he has created for himself.
So, you might ask, why do so relatively few excel while some others seem to be born with the proverbial "silver spoon in their mouth"? You are about to learn why. Stay tuned.