One of the matters I did not discuss regarding my failures over the years, was that along the way, I learned the truth about what the Bible has to say - about me. That is, the sins of my past are gone and forgotten and I no longer have to wonder if what I am doing is right, or wrong. That is not to say, I am perfect, but the truth is, I am forgiven because of what Jesus did at a place called Calvary, two thousand years ago. I know, that is difficult to understand for people who do not believe there is a God, that it was He who created all that there is, wherever we might look, to the North, the South, the East and the West, even to the extremities of what we describe as the universe.
Do you recall my experience on the troop ship heading for Japan? How I climbed up on top and I could see, wherever it was that I looked, the sky filled with stars and planets and probably objects I know nothing about. And as surely as He created all of that, He created me and everyone reading what I am saying in this moment. He knew before all of us when and where we were to be born by the miracle of child birth; that as precious as we might be to our parents, we would follow in their footsteps and make mistakes. He needed a way to cleanse us of that unrighteousness and thus, He sent His own Son to bear the burden of our the guilt that follows, How do I know?
Well, it seems that He visited me that night on a Greyhound bus when I had asked Him about the word repent and He revealed to me, all of the various reasons I had to repent. I know that He touched my life as after acknowledging my need to repent, my life changed, 180 degrees. The next person I would meet sensed it in the spring in my step and the smile on my face. She knew and she paid homage to God by taking money out of her purse and paying for my meal. I knew by the fact that I was really disappointed when the man I had traveled halfway across the nation to meet was not available to see me. And I was broke. I did not have enough money to eat and have a place to stay, but I will always believe that it was God's grace that led to a job that not only took care of me for that day, but for the week to follow. My life was changing and I had no control over it except for the fact, I was acknowledging His presence in my life through my prayers and petitions. Nothing went wrong for days and when I finally did realize I needed help, I would pray and good things began to happen.
I began to bless people, to thank others for the courtesies they extended to me and I was praying for people I hardly knew. It was like I could not stop, nor did I want to as my life was changing before my eyes. I was in church every time the door was opened and I was reading my Bible daily; in fact, morning, Noon and night. Along the way I was also discovering that not everyone I met in church or in church activities was as free of the problems I had experienced earlier and I did my best to help them to discover what I was learning. I also found many who disagreed with the way I was interpreting my Bible, and I was also learning how to listen carefully and attempt to help them if I could. Even when my wife came and took my sons away after breaking and entering our apartment, I learned how to bless her. I prayed for her for years until I learned that she was - once again,wanted by the Police. I have never stopped praying for my children.
Some might ask that if "my" God was so good to me, why didn't He see that my children were restored to me. but I know that I know, He has extended His love to each of them as He had to me and it is up to them to recognize that love.
It has been over 39 years since that night on the bus and I am here to say, His love has never faltered or failed me. Have I been perfect in all of those years? Of course not. I am a human being and am not perfect as He is, but I cannot recall a time when He has failed me in all of those ensuing days. I am a blessed man and will close with a prayer for all who have taken the time to read this, that He will touch your lives as He has touched mine.